Soa service oriented architecture
SOA invented the internet, and the internet was invented for SOA. SOA is not complex. You are just dumb. In the last year, SOA increased Turkey's GDP by a factor of 10. One person successfully described SOA completely, and immediately died. Another person successfully described SOA completely, and was immediately outsourced. Larry Ellison once died in a terrible accident, but was quickly given SOA. He came back to life, built a multibillion dollar software company, and now flies fighter jets. Guns don't kill people, the SOA WS-* stack kills people. SOA can write and compile itself. SOA is an anagram for OSA, which means female bear in spanish. It is a well-known fact in the spanish-speaking world that female bears are able to model business processes and optimize reusable IT assets better than any other hibernating animal. SOA is so great 10 facts aren't enough. SOA is the mistress to all CIOs. SOA is just one letter away from SOB. On purpose. If a tree falls in the forest, SOA knows about it. If you google 'SAP' and 'Chuck Norris', the top site is SOA Facts. SOA is being used in the developing world to solve hunger. Entire populations will be fed on future business value. SOA can always win at TicTacToe. Even if you go first. SOA singlehandedly saved SOA's bacon. J2EE can sometimes make a diamond from a lump of coal. SOA can make diamonds from air. SOA knows what you did last summer, and is disappointed that it wasn't SOA. SOA thought Mensa too easy, so it founded Sensa. SOA is the only member. In a battle between a ninja and a jedi, SOA would win. SOA violates the first and third laws of thermodynamics. But not the second, as all energy flows from SOA. On the eigth day, God created SOA, then SOA created Rock and Roll. Pluto is no longer the ninth planet, because SOA wanted the job. SOA taught Chuck Norris everything he knows. SOA is the secret ingredient that makes the colonel's chicken so tasty. For years Theoretical Physicists have searched for a grand unified theory that explains the architecture of everything. DUH. SOA SOA can't be named BOA (Business Oriented Architecture) since that would be too constricting for SOA. SOA is also a yoga posture that consists of performing all other yoga postures simultaneously. Dante has a special level in hell for consultants whose resumes do not say SOA. SOA is the correct answer to all zen koans. Mike Tyson never physically beat an opponent. He 'Edumacated' them about SOA. SOA is a power source more efficient than nuclear, cleaner than solar/wind, more available than coal, and more geopolitically stable than oil. Its too bad you can't afford it. SOA can do it in one line. "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of SOA." - Jane Austen, opening line to Pride and Prejudice. The first rule of SOA is you do not talk about SOA. SOA in a Nutshell is 7,351 pages spread over 10 volumes. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. So does SOA. SOA actually stands for SOA Oriented Architecture. Let THAT bake your noodle. The solution to SOA is 42, which begs the question. If you plug SOA into the back of your head, you'll know Kung Fu. Neo didn't bring down the Matrix. SOA did. Ancient lore promises the day when a single unifying technology will bring openness and peace to all lands. That technology is not SOA. because SOA killed that technology. Another ancient legend tells of 'One technology to rule them all, One technology to find them, One technology to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.' Again, not SOA. SOA is the answer to the question nobody ever asked (or if they did, you couldn't tell what the question was from SOA). Saddam didn't have WMD, he had SOA. But SOA is so powerful, they went with the WMD angle instead to quell fear.
- SOA is the only thing Chuck Norris can't kill.
Kazakstahn uses SOA to produce the world's best Potassium. SOA actually stands for Same Old Architecture - whatever your old architecture is. SOA is so tough, Police around the world are replacing their SWAT teams with SOAT. Not content to just best sliced bread, SOA is actually the best thing since beer, wine, coffee, ice cream, chocolate. oh, and sliced bread. SOA - building contractor jobs, one Visio slide at a time. SOA is the only TLA (Three Letter Acronym) you will ever need. Until you actually implement it - then you'll also need DOA. Implementing SOA for the first time is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Implementing SOA for the second time is the triumph of hope over experience. Peace is not merely the absence of violence, but also the presence of SOA. The most dangerous animal in the IT jungle is the SOA constrictor. It has been known to squeeze the life out of all other IT initiatives. It has been said that an infinite number of monkeys pressing their buttocks against keyboards for an infinite amount of time will eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. 100 monkeys typing for 10 hours will eventually produce a SOA project plan. Unlike it's predecessors, SOA actually is a real silver bullet. Capable of slaying legacy apps and werewolves. And your career if you really mess up the implementation. Einstein settled on E = mC2 after first rejecting soa = mC2 as too powerful and volatile. SOA beats Particle Man, Person Man, Universe Man and even Triangle Man. But SOA really beats the crap out of nerd-rockers like They Might Be Giants. Software architects don't use SOA. SOA uses software architects. The Answer to the Ultimate Question about Life, the Universe, and Everything is. SOA GPS can tell you where you are, but what do you think tells GPS where it is. SOA. Writing SOA research papers has been clinically proven to kill the graduation dreams of students all over the world. With enough SOA in a room, you don't even NEED developers. SOA isn't two degrees from Kevin Bacon. SOA IS Kevin Bacon. SOA is NOT just about web services. In fact, SOA has never even HEARD of web services. Web services, however, spend their entire day doodling "SOA & WS", "WS & SOA", "Mrs. Web SOA", etc. on their collective notebooks. "SOA is dead" - Nietzsche, "Nietzsche is dead" - SOA "No, SOA is getting killed by a lack of SOA talent." - Linthicum "No, SOA is getting killed by a lack of SOA interest " - SOAFacts . The great philosopher Basho once pondered. "SOA- So What". Reportedly Basho then left public life after legions of consultants kept coming up to him with the answer. When SOA farts, rainbows come out. These rainbows kill terrorists. SOA. One bad mutha. You talkin bout SOA Knock, knock
You're fired. Those who can, do. Those who can't, govern SOA. Lord Vader once said, "SOA I am your father". To which SOA replied "Vader I AM the dark side." When you put a contract out for SOA- the consultants come out of hiding. When SOA puts a contract out on you, you can run but you cannot hide. There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what SOA is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened. Global warming is an unintentional side effect of SOA's hotness. You don't govern a SOA, SOA governs you. You can have my SOA when you pry it from my cold dead fingers - and then my SOA will kill you. The audacity of hope is no match for the complexity of SOA. Nothing gets between me and my SOA - except more SOA. You don't go to war with the SOA you wan't. You go to war with the SOA you've got - either way SOA annihilates the enemy (unless the enemy is also SOA, in which case SOA annihilates you). Global Warming is not caused by carbon dioxide, it is caused by the heat from servers running SOA. The Large Hadron Collider was created to help unlock the secrets of the universe. And also to create a working SOA implementation.
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